Right, let's talk about sex. And let's talk about sex in the pandemic.
Sex is great -- it makes us feel good, wanted, energized, etc. If you've had great sex before I'm sure you can add in the rest ;)
But if you could arrange all the qualities that you were looking for in a partner on a menu, where would you put it? And how are you handling it in the social distancing period?
Bon Appétit!
Here's what's on my menu, I'm going for...
Appetizer
...someone who gives me butterflies every day, reciprocates my feelings, makes me feel special...
Main Course
...loves me, respects me, prioritizes me, gets me, brings out the best in me, wants to build a life-long future with me; but is also kind, sexy, funny, smart, driven, caring, interesting, cultured, whom I can trust, whose heart is so big that I can pour my soul and feelings to when I need an emotional dumpster... (okay maybe this one can be saved for my best girlfriends or my drink menu)
Dessert
...good sex.
I guess I do have a lot of "plates" on my menu, but isn't it fair though if those are also what I'll give or at least I know I'll always strive to give?
Anyways, yes, sex is the dessert on my menu. It's not the appetizer for me because I don't usually start my dinner that way. And while it's not the main course for me either, it doesn't mean it's not as important or essential because let's be honest, how would you feel about your meal if your first two courses are amazing but you end up having a horrible dessert? The taste of that last bite in your mouth is what tends to make you want to revisit the restaurant because that's what you'll unconsciously remember, isn't it? Of course, it is THAT important.
After checking NYC.gov, no one knows for sure if COVID-19 can be transmitted through sex or not, so I'm not saying you shouldn't have sex during this time. If you are in a committed relationship, and you and your partner are both following the directions of social distancing (avoiding contact with other people), then good for you! However, if you are in a committed relationship but you have to commute to see each other, maybe consider staying in at your partner's place or have them stay in at your place while social distancing lasts; if it's not possible then... ahem, this sounds like a perfect time for you guys to 'take a break' because you can use this noble excuse that 'I'm trying to save some lives' instead of the lame one 'It's not you, it's me'. I'm joking, but do you get what I'm saying? And if you're not in a committed relationship, I urge you to think carefully before your thumb hits the Send button to the not-a-stranger-not-yet-a-significant-other to "catch up". Let's call this person: J. Doe. That's right, even if you and J. Doe won't end up having sex, sure you will be able to stay six feet away from each other the whole time when you meet up?
If the answer is No, or you're not sure, I believe you know what would be the smarter choice in the current situation. Don't do it because 'fuck it, I'll do whatever I want', guys. You may or may not get the virus, but this is not the time to YOLO. You can resume your YOLO life when your YOLO doesn't interfere with other people's YOLIYDHC (You Only Live If You Don't Have COVID-19).
Let me break it down for you why you should hold your horse during this time instead of trying to rush to see J. Doe, besides just saving some lives.
There are three hypotheses: 1) You want to have an exclusive relationship, 2) You want to have an open relationship, and 3) You don't know.
1) You want to have an exclusive relationship.
If J. Doe is indeed exclusive (which is what you want), he/she will also 'preserve' themselves by doing their social distancing at this time. That means if you guys are not having sex, they will NOT do it with anyone else. So you can throw your insecurity away now. Both of you can stay at home and maybe even practice your imagination to fire up your sexual fantasies. Just wait patiently because space creates desires, and it will be worth the wait, and you might learn a thing or two more about each other through this process.
If J.Doe is not exclusive (which is what you DON'T want), he/she is likely to "catch up" with other people too, which means J. Doe is also more likely to "catch up" with the virus as an 'added value' in the meet-up package. And guess what, if you still decide to "catch up" regardless, not only that you'll be more likely to get the virus just like J. Doe, but you're also chasing after what you DON'T want. Obviously, this is a lose-lose case scenario.
2) You want to be in an open relationship.
Unless you think you can get access to an in-depth activity analysis report of J. Doe and everyone else you guys have been in contact with over the last 14 days, plus knowing for sure they've all tested negative, otherwise, horrible idea if not just selfish and socially irresponsible during this time to be fair.
3) You don't know.
Then maybe this is a perfect time for you to pause and listen to yourself, so you can figure out what you want in relationships!
I know, I know, it is hard. But you got this. You are strong, my friend. And if it makes you feel any less FOMO, I'm not having my dessert during this time either. That's right, we can be on this diet together. Hashtag diet buddies. There are alternatives for traditional desserts that are safer for you and your community during this time. We can go for artificial sweeteners instead of sugar! Splenda, Equal, or Sweet and Low? C'mon, you got this!!
Trust me, you're not losing anything by putting this on hold for now. The pandemic we're having now could be once in a century, but the skill you learn from being on this 'diet' will train you to be stronger for the rest of your life!
So is it your appetizer? Main course? Or dessert?
And can you power through this so the pandemic can end soon, and we can all enjoy our three-course dinner again?