[Mar 21, 2020]
"Pandemic.
"What does it even mean?"
[…]
The first week of quarantine was... interesting. My emotions swung from "Yessss... chill time!" to "please don't tell me I have to worry about ONE MORE THING because the world is going crazy and my life is in chaos and I'm alone and I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS!" in just a few days. Three days to be exact. I swear I'm not bipolar."
This was the beginning of my first blog post at thecqo.com. I love how I even capitalized the words “ONE MORE THING” and “I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS” as if it would help. Welp, only the opposite. Today marks exactly one year since I started blogging under my pen name ‘the CQO,’ which stands for Chief Quarterlife-crisis Officer, because, you know, I kick ass. Alright, I’m only half-joking. But seriously, if there’s anything consistent in my life up until now, it is my quarterlife crisis, both in quantity and quality, which is also what I’ve grown to learn that it’s actually my greatest asset. I didn’t have a five-year plan of what this would turn into, nor did I know how long I would keep doing it. All I knew was that I wanted to do something that inspired others to love living even in the darkest times of their lives, not by denying the bad but acknowledging the obstacles to overcome and embrace personal growth, and hopefully could help make the world a little kinder, more just, more real, through sharing what I know how to do best… evolving from pain and challenges in life.
The last 366 days have tested my mental capacity like no other. Life went up and down as if it was a rollercoaster, but I certainly enjoyed the ride. I’ve learned that the secret to achieving it is actually not knowing what would come next, but simply making sure to buckle up. Life’s fascinating like that. When we come to terms with our own insecurities, our inner peace will become our seatbelt for the ride.
Something that many people don’t know about me, is that even though I’m an analyst in real life, I actually choose not to be guided by analytics in what I create. I don’t plan on what I will be writing next based on engagements but rather what I want my younger self to know while keeping my emotions as raw as they are at the time I write. Since I was little, I barely found myself really engaged or attracted to what’s considered the mainstream or “pop culture.” I’m drawn to what’s genuine and original far more than what’s trendy or flashy, which is what I always stick with throughout everything I do. The posts that have the fewest likes may be the ones that mean the most to me, and I want to create for those whose souls can connect with mine, even if there are only a handful.
My first post’s title was a question: “Life in Pandemic - The End or a New Beginning?” I had no idea at the time, but I was always hopeful. A year later, here I am, reflecting back on the last chapters I have closed and writing a new one. I know the answer now. We all have many beginnings in our lives with or without the pandemic, but there’s another deeper lesson here. And that lesson is that even after this global pandemic is over, perhaps we should keep in mind to continue creating our own “pandemics” when life feels stagnant so that we are reminded of what truly matters, the vitality of disruptions, the necessity of continual personal breakthroughs, and most importantly, why life is worth celebrating.
Thank you for joining and sharing this wonderful ride with me. Buckle up, and onto the next chapter, we go!