When I first started my blog back in March, my intention was simply to share what I’d learned in life that helped me power through my quarter-life crisis, with the hope that it could somehow also help other people around me. I’ve been doing this for about three months by now, even to my surprise, because I never planned on what to write next – every Sunday, I just write about what dominates my mind in that week so it’s always been how it is.
On the week of May 25, I was going to write a new blog post about my “Oh Shit” moments and what they taught me, since I actually said “oh shit” to myself probably a hundred times in just that one week (yep, that was how often I messed things up). However, on Friday, May 29, the news of George Floyd hit me for the first time, and I simply couldn’t think of anything else but questioned what justice and equality meant in America.
On Sunday, May 31 – the first Sunday after the death of George Floyd – I scratched everything I thought I was going to write on my blog and decided to write my first opinion post on Black Lives Matter called “America, You’re Confusing Me.” I didn’t know if this was even my place to express my anger, confusion, and disappointment; I didn’t care if there were any consequences or if that meant I’d lose a few people in my life because we didn’t share the same values. I went with my intuition anyway because I wanted to show up for what mattered most, not what I thought would be the safest choice or the most convenient to write about.
So I never shared my “Oh Shit” moments, but to be honest I think we can all agree that we've all seen enough “shit” in just this month alone.
Showing up for the trend is easy, posting a black square on social media is easy, because it’s safe, because everyone’s doing it, because it doesn’t require much energy or effort to do. But showing up consistently to push for a real radical change is not. It is hard – being anti-racist is hard – it requires our long-term commitment, intention, and persistence, while consciously challenging our everyday unconscious bias, especially if you’re lucky enough to be considered “more privileged” than others.
Over the past three weeks, I’ve found my heart being broken in thousands of pieces then also found myself stumbling to reassemble it a countless number of times, and repeat; but it only made me realize how traumatic it must be for Black people to handle their feelings when this is what they see that happens to the people in their community every single day.
For many of you who are also joining forces to fight systemic racism and injustice, I want you to know that you are doing the right thing, we are in this together, and we will continue being in this together. As my Black bestie told me: “You are on the right side of history.”
I want to share with you the full message that she sent to me because her words are simply so beautiful and powerful, that I hope you are empowered to keep showing up for our humanity, too.
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